Who mourns the death of a random crow that flies overhead at a forgotten moment on a seemingly unimportant day?

I have much more respect for the individual who, when asked something he doesn't know the answer to, replies, "I am not sure'" than the individual who stands by some unproven, and likely unprovable answer. This is especially true when the response is some sort of theological response that has absolutely no real connection to the issue at hand.

If education is truly valued as a necessary element of democracy, then we must defend academic freedom at all costs.

As a thinker, one of my best tools is the ability to freely admit that I do not have the answers to everything. Once I have done that, then I am able to begin looking for the truth without a set of prescribed ideas that would otherwise lead me down a narrow, and often-times illogical path.

It's easy to tell someone whose world is crumbling around them to just pick up the rubble and begin to build something new, but it isn't that easy. When the world is falling before your eyes, you need to dig deep to find the strengh to rebuild. Whether we like it or not, that strength usually begins as anger, and anger is messy. To remake the world we must get ourselves dirty enough to see ourselves as something new when we decide to clean up.

I wonder if certain people are vehemently anti-immigrant because when they look at the faces of those immigrants who come from across the Western Hemisphere, they see remnants of the indigenous populations that the European conquerors destroyed. They see millions of descendants of the original inhabitants of this land. They see people who had their own languages, religions, and customs destroyed. They see the net result of over 500 years of waging a very real war against an enemy who never wanted war. In fact, when the nativist elements of the United States speak against immigration (and have no doubt, they are speaking out against immigrants from the Americas and Africa) they are constantly reminded that the subjugation and slaughter of millions of people has backfired. They see that their forefathers were never granted entry into these continents. They see the transgretions of the past, but instead of working to improve the situation, all they know is fear. But now they are afraid of the consequences of their own actions, so they go kicking and screaming as they slowly come closer to inevitable.

the blues are back

the blues are back the depression is back the thoughts of suicide are back i can see them in my head a razorblade slicing my wrist the images of self-mutilation except that i wont do it i've been working hard the past couple of years to recognize when it shows its ugly face but it is really difficult to fight I never meant for my family to have to deal with this it makes me sad that my wife is afraid to leave me alone with my children but i guess she is right to be concerned because i sometimes snap and it can become pretty ugly  i know it is for me  it makes me tired i'm so tired right now i cannot focus or concentrate i cannot make clear decisions i can do almost nothing right so i won't slash my wrists because i would probably fuck that up, too
i didn't ask to be like this i wish i could be happy but there is no magic pill, at least not for me i tried them and they made it worse
i am just really tired

I have come to realize that I have spent the majority of the past ten years clinging to who I was instead of working to be who I am.

It is difficult for people to accept that we live in a transitory world because we are so drawn to the comforts of familiarity. Because of this, some people actively try to create a static world based on a very narrow perspective. Even worse, others try to dillude themselves into the idea that they can actually turn back the hands of time and subject the present to some set of ideals that are nothing more than a memory; and as is common with memories, they are often ficticious and self-serving. To strike a balance between the lessons learned from past experiences and the necessity of the present is a difficult task, but it is one worth attempting.

A person doesn't gain enlightenment from a short conversation with a guru. A person gains enlightenment on the journey up the mountain and then back again.

People are quick to point out or exploit any person, event, or action that shows the exception to a rule as long as that person is in disagreement with that rule. However, they usually are quick to dismiss exceptions for the rules they like.

If you don't believe that there is a war by the powerful against the powerless, then take a look at the defunding of our schools and the increased funding for prisons. Then listen to how they justify locking up the very people they refuse to educate.

Only a fool believes that the best way to strengthen a nation is by disenfranchising the majority of it's citizens.

When considering our country, when considering ourselves as Americans (regardless of how we hyphenate or subcategorize ourselves into groups), we must go beyond the watered-down version of events. We must go in depth and search the archives for truth because what we have been handed is so narrowly crafted that it practically constitutes as lie. There is no reason for anyone to plead ignorance anymore, one can only plead laziness. 

I am very fortunate whenever I am able to catch a profound thought racing through my mind. By right now there is nothing but chaos and jagged ideas. No stream, no pond, not even a puddle. My thoughts are like water being tossed into the air from a thousand different cups.

Sleep at times is nothing more than a shadow outside my door, but maybe she resembles death too closely. Despite my own personal relationship with suicide,death at the door is quite a different matter altogether. Yet, the real casualty here is a goodnight sleep, and for no reason except that my mind turn on when it shOuld be relaxing, and so I have lay here a still as Possible so I dont wake my wife

I don't believe in fate or destiny. I believe that forces within close proximity have a way of intentionally and unintentionally colliding. There is no puppet master, no grand plan. There are just random lives occupying the same space, and so many of the lives will naturally come Into contact with each other. There is no mysticism in that.

I continue to become a better parent every time I accept that what's best for my son is not determined by MY understanding of sociology-cultural norms

I spent so much of my life afraid to just be myself that the person I am today is possibly nothing more than a fraud, or at the very least a composite of a lifetime of fraudulent vignettes. Now, as I try to just do what comes naturally I question the validity of every thought and action. Or maybe I was being true to myself all along, it's just that very few others ever understood what was happening.

One of the best things about doing yardwork on a hot sunny day is that no one usually wants to come outside and help, which leaves me with plenty of time to think. When you have young children, thinking time is prime time. So a little bit of yardwork is a reasonable trade-off.

Suicide is a crazy thought, I know. But it is also very real; and for as irrational as it is, the idea of taking my own life has been there since I was a child. It is so normal to me, which makes it that much scarier. Fortunately, I have no intention of doing it. In fact, I have actually become so afraid of dying that I have a difficult time falling asleep; and prolonged sleeplessness isn't good for anyone. And that brings me back to the beginning: suicide. It is a cycle. Anger to depression to thinking about ending it all, which is the most depressing of all, then the realization of the finality of it and how it would affect my family. So I lie awake, thoughts racing through my brain and before I know it, the sun is up and there's a new day to face. One more chance to get it right.

As a child I used to wish that the bad guys would win sometimes. When I became older, I realized that the bad guys usually win, but they aren't the bandits I saw on television. They are the real shadow people. The real bad guys wear suits and we never hear their names. 

The shadows are always there. Always.

I can't commit suicide because I need to be here to help raise my kids. But when I lose my head I wonder whether or not they would be better of without me.

I understand perfectly well why someone puts a bullet in his own head to save his family. I understand why people sometimes loathe themselves. I do not understand why they destroy others to destroy themselves.

One thing I dislike about being an atheist is that I don't believe in an afterlife. When I die I'm just done. We all are. That means I will never meet my maker, I won't see my mother ever again, and worst of all I won't be able to help guide my children from beyond the grave. This is a real problem for me because I really love my family. In fact, I love them so much that I never want to leave them, but never is an impossibility that sometimes tears me to pieces.

Sometimes your words are the droplets of drizzle scattered across my ears on a windy day.

I could have been a cowboy, but I chose to roll with the Indians instead.

The willful and purposeful propagation of religion is one of humanities greatest crimes against itself

Reading the poem "imagenes" today was like sitting at a large table with an acquaintance I met when drinking one night. And, I was asked to introduce that acquaintance to everyone else at the table. What could I say? Nothing more than something read straight from the script.

What is the effect when the rules of society are consistently written by those who win?

Ya no tengo ganas...

Sometimes the sensation of a fresh razor blade against my skin is the only thing to calm my soul against the chaos of the world around me.

There is a real difference between anger and rage.

The good thing about monsters is that their heads usually explode; the bad thing is that the explosions are usually quite ugly.

Maybe I should just admit that I don't know anything about anything. Maybe if I burned my books and papers. Maybe if I submitted to the lie. Maybe if I turned off the radio and sat in silence. Maybe then I could find peace

They would have me believe that I can find happiness if only I buy a tract home in the suburbs, join a church, and own a new car. But it's not true. I would eventually fall back into the same feelings of discontent, isolation, and sadness.

I am amazed sometimes in the morning when I wake up. Happy, but amazed nonetheless.

Nobody knows the unrelenting pull of suicide except those of us who live with it everyday. It is such a vile ugliness. Even as I put my children to bed, it doesn't stop, so I hug and kiss them as though it could be last time ever. Sometimes I even cry while reading them nighttime stories. All they understand is that daddy is sad and it is their love in that moment that helps me muster every ounce of strength to walk out of that room and go to sleep. It is far too dangerous to stay awake. You cannot slit your wrists when you're asleep.
I lOve my family so much, but this pulling feeling can be pretty strong. One of my greatest fears is that one day I will succumb to those irrational images that float in my own blood nstrewn across the floor. Or maybe I just won't wake up one morning to turn off the alarm and Denise will have to find me and figure out how to turn off the alarm. It is all rather gloomy. I wish those thoughts would go away. I really do.

It sucks that I sometimes have to self-inflict pain so that I can feel better. What's even worse is that my family has to endure it also. I find myself wondering whether or not I am doing them any good by being here and intruding on their lives. I find myself wondering if it wouldn't be better if I was just gone. It is hard to live like this, with this overwhelming sense of sadness. I can only imagine the torture I put my family through.

IPhone

So i got an iPhone. We'll see if it is so great.

It's not that I I don't believe in magic because I'm blind or foolish. I don't believe in magic because it is not real. It is merely slight of hand, illusion, and trickery. To make magic, any magic, real then we must suspend our disbelief and accept it. I have simply not accept the illusion. And like any other liars, the magic makers will ridicule my skepticism as weakness when in fact they are the weak ones, fighting to justify their own weakness at my expense.

Peddlers

Both the dope dealer and the preacher peddle false hope and manufactured happiness.

People will sometimes take the most extreme measures and accept the most irrational of beliefs to fill the void left by unhappiness.

It can be extremely difficult to work through the trials of our lives; and the difficulty is magnified everytime someone else suggests that the only obstacle is yourself. Those who would have us believe that life is easy if we have the right attitude, or if we simply remove the roadblocks we have set up for ourselves probably do not understand that sometimes things are just hard. Sometimes there is no simple solution, and regardless of how we try to change our attitude or perspective, life will still be difficult. Those who understand this also understand that helping ourselves is not easy and there are bleak days that do not seem to end. Fortunately, there are bright days that hang in the balance.

Although I constantly fight it, I have come to realize the insignificant nature of my existence. Unfortunately, this is not some grand metaphysical realization that will lead to transcendence, nor is it the throwing off of material desire. It is simple insignificance. What people want is more of themselves. My life. My thoughts and ideas. My interpersonal connection to another human being is not what anyone wants. People want their own lives justified on their own terms, in relationship to their words and actions.
I am of no use to them.
I am insignificant in the most direct sense of the word.  

I drink, therefore I am.

Open a book, even if it only has pictures in it.  3/29/00

Don’t quit everything all at once.  Quit them little by little, one year at a time so that the change is neither terribly traumatic, nor terribly noticeable. 3/29/00

I’m human enough to have these thoughts and stupid enough to admit it. 3/27/00

Drinking champagne is like drinking a shot of bad Holloween candy. 3/18/00

Drinking champagne is like drinking a shot of bad Holloween candy. 3/18/00

Today, the impossible is possible; but the future is still not what you might think. 3/18/00

A society should pride itself on the individual mode of expression that focuses on the common good.  To impose conformity- especially in the name of the common good- in any form is the essence of tyranny. 3/17/01

It is one thing to show the path.  It is entirely something else to show someone how to walk it.  3/17/01

There is no reason that one should be forced to suffer societal degradation simply because their American Dream does not coincide with your American Dream. 3/11/01

Why does one need to move to the suburbs to prove some meager success? 3/10/01

Just when I started to get comfortable, they kick me out.  3/8/01

Meanwhile has brought everything to a halt.  2/25/02

Very little can be accomplished without discipline.  Without it, all success is merely random chance and therefore worthy of nothing more than an acknowledgement that it happened, not an acknowledgement that it was made to happen.  2/15/00

The challenge is just the beginning.  2/15/00

Do something to give those around you a better life.  2/15/00

Those who die with the most toys have foolishly spent their money... and are still dead.  1/29/00

To subscribe to many of the world’s religions is to say that Planet Earth is the only place in the entire universe to necessitate or deserve its very own religious doctrines and saviors.  Of course, none of this can be more than mere speculation, but two thousand years ago the Romans paid homage to the gods of Mount Olympus and today we are exploring the planets named in honor of them.  Yesterday’s gods are today’s myths.  One can only imagine what the future holds for today’s dieties.  Some will become stories, others will be swallowed up into new theologies, and others will change to fit the times.  1/26/2000

Everyone should reject at least a few societal norms for three reasons: first, to understand that resistance is futile; second, to feel the great pleasure of individuality in the face of conglomerate power; and third, to prevent ourselves from dying of boredom.  1/25/2000

Ours is a bipolar society, simultaneously wrought with the trials of comfort and unpredictability.  Jan 22, 2000

When you wake up and find the excitement and passion all gone, to where you can barely get out of bed, then it is time to remember where the passion once was and if it is still relevant.  Possibly the passion has just taken a vacation and you need to figure out where it went.  1/19/00

Animals make great companions because they judge you by their temperament, not your character.  1/18/00

When a person enters the bathroom and closes the door, it means they probably don’t wished to be disturbed, except in dire circumstances.

  1/17/00

To avoid stagnation of the mind, everyone should take time out every day to read and to think.  This does not mean to merely glance and figure, but rather to consciously intake and understand. 1/8/2000

Just because a generally annoying person occasionally makes sense does not necessarily make that person a prophet, some misunderstood genius, or the chosen one to be revered for having some mystical direct line to the powers that be; sometimes s/he is just an annoying person who occasionally makes sense.  1/7/2000

If you are consistently late for work, then you either haven’t found your true calling or you don’t fear your boss enough.  1/6/2000

Why do some believe the word of god and abstinence from alcohol go hand in hand? 1/3/05

Teachers

I am generally suspicious of public school teachers who don't send their own children to public schools.

View

It is unfortunate that so many of us overlook the beauty in everyday things. Maybe we simply gloss over what we consider mundane. Or maybe we are just so busy that we don't take an extra moment to recognize what is in front of us. Anyone can glance out a window, but it is a difficult task to stop and recognize the composition already framed in by the window itself not just as a smattering of objects, but as an interesting piece of our lives. As a society, we show respect and sometimes reverence to those who have the power to meditate on those small piece of their daily lives, yet so few of us strive for the same. Maybe that is part of the true essence of what it means to be human.

Childhood

When I dropped my children off at school this morning I saw so much happiness, so much curiosity, and so much innocent inhibition.Surely the warm, sunny Southern California morning helped. But not everyone has those same memories. Not everyone remembers being carefree where their inquisitiveness is both allowed and encouraged. How does this effect our disposition as adults? Who would you rather work with, the happy kid or kid who was constantly told, "No"?  

Dissatisfaction

It is not so much if a person experiences dissatisfaction in life. The real issue is how that dissatisfaction manifests itself into irreversible actions.

"Who are you?"
"I am your grandmother on a cold morning lighting a wood burning stove. I am your grandfather's excommunication. I am your mother's fight with cancer."
"You are a ghost?"
"No. There is no such foolishness as ghosts. Or goblins. Or gods. I am what you already know to be true. I awaken the beauty in your soul."
"And how do you do that?"
"Simply by allowing you to awaken yourself"

New Leaf

I need to grow a new tree before I can turn over a new leaf.