Fuck it

Sometimes you just have to say fuck it

Suicide note 2

I am so sorry that your dinner plans didn't work out the way you planned, but like we've always said, the children are innocent. That's why I've done this in my own. I tucked them both in bed and told them goodnight. I even told them both that I loved them. The only difference was that I didn't say that I would see them in the morning. That was a little piece of nuanced expression that I would try. Neither one of the understood. However, I did hung them both very tight, and kissed them with all the heart and soul that a soulless bastard can have. I would have kissed you too, but you weren't here.

Dharma

And what if I finally realize that my dharma is pain

Suicide Note

Sorry that after I got the kids ready for school and dropped them off
After I fed the dog
And cleaned the litter box
And put in a load of laundry
And made you some breakfast and lunch
I wasn't able to get your oil changed
But I didn't get to go on a bike ride either
Because I was too busy writing this suicide note
I'm sorry, but you'll need to pick the kids up from school today
I hope it isn't an inconvenience.

Alcoholic

I'd make a great alcoholic if I didn't have so many fucking responsibilities

Rodriguez airport

Leonard Cohen's raspy voice sings Dance Me to the End of Love
Through the speakers in an Ford pick-up truck
My son points excitedly at a Christmas tree tied to the top of an aging mini-van
So I look with a sinking feeling
My mind somewhere between floating and drowning without treading through the saturation
And in the distance, a jet hangs in the air just past Rodriguez airport
It balances nicely passing from clear. Morning blue sky into the whiteness of the cloud

PTA Moms

I am constantly amazed by the
omnipresent PTA moms
Decked out in the designer fitness wear
That frames their mother hen personalities
To fit the multi-million dollar ad campaigns
Interspersed throughout parenting magazines
And estrogen talk shows
But when the afternoon comes
there are no jagged lines of salt left over from sweat
Drawing maps of champion effort on their shirts
No dirt on the shoes singing the praises of battles hard fought
No odor of accomplishment
There are only the women mulling around
With their sports drinks
Designer sunglasses
And voices singing their own praises.

Mental Health Day

Sometimes I feel like taking a mental health day for the rest of my life.