Note 1

These are the days when I feel the world would be better without me. It seems as though, regardless what I do, or how I act or speak, it is never good enough. It doesn't matter if I try to do something right because it always comes out wrong. At least, that's what I'm told. Some days it feels as though I should just go away and live alone, far away from any other person. Then, I won't destroy their lives with my presence. 

Even if I was gone, I am sure that even then you would not recognize the struggles I have felt, nor would you try to understand for a moment what went wrong. No, you would likely denigrate me even in death. My entire life would be penalized for not living up to your standards.