When considering our country, when considering ourselves as Americans (regardless of how we hyphenate or subcategorize ourselves into groups), we must go beyond the watered-down version of events. We must go in depth and search the archives for truth because what we have been handed is so narrowly crafted that it practically constitutes as lie. There is no reason for anyone to plead ignorance anymore, one can only plead laziness. 

I am very fortunate whenever I am able to catch a profound thought racing through my mind. By right now there is nothing but chaos and jagged ideas. No stream, no pond, not even a puddle. My thoughts are like water being tossed into the air from a thousand different cups.

Sleep at times is nothing more than a shadow outside my door, but maybe she resembles death too closely. Despite my own personal relationship with suicide,death at the door is quite a different matter altogether. Yet, the real casualty here is a goodnight sleep, and for no reason except that my mind turn on when it shOuld be relaxing, and so I have lay here a still as Possible so I dont wake my wife

I don't believe in fate or destiny. I believe that forces within close proximity have a way of intentionally and unintentionally colliding. There is no puppet master, no grand plan. There are just random lives occupying the same space, and so many of the lives will naturally come Into contact with each other. There is no mysticism in that.

I continue to become a better parent every time I accept that what's best for my son is not determined by MY understanding of sociology-cultural norms

I spent so much of my life afraid to just be myself that the person I am today is possibly nothing more than a fraud, or at the very least a composite of a lifetime of fraudulent vignettes. Now, as I try to just do what comes naturally I question the validity of every thought and action. Or maybe I was being true to myself all along, it's just that very few others ever understood what was happening.

One of the best things about doing yardwork on a hot sunny day is that no one usually wants to come outside and help, which leaves me with plenty of time to think. When you have young children, thinking time is prime time. So a little bit of yardwork is a reasonable trade-off.